Every few months, a funny post about the stages of friendship or a relationship makes the social media rounds. “I will travel with you” is always listed as one of the highest. It’s practically a love language.
Why? Because traveling together requires a deeper level of connection, and the quickest way to ruin a trip (or a friendship) is to travel with someone whose style is incompatible with yours.
So, what do you need to think about when planning a trip?
- Personality — Introverts and extroverts can absolutely get along and travel well together. It happens all the time. But what about someone who needs a well-defined itinerary going on a trip with someone who doesn’t want to commit to roundtrip airfare because who knows what city you’ll be in when it’s time to fly home? Both styles are fine, but it can lead to friction if you aren’t able to communicate honestly about what you want and what works best for you.
- Destination — This one seems obvious, right? Who plans a trip with someone who doesn’t want to go to the same place? Selecting a destination is more than just choosing a city (or country) to visit. It’s also deciding if staying in the walkable city center is preferable to the quiet hotel nearby — the one that’s just far enough away that you’ll need to spend additional time and money traveling back and forth to each day.
- Activities — Can the museum and history buffs travel well with the adventure seekers who are afraid of combusting if kept indoors too long? Yes! — if they talk about it in advance. Remember, there’s no rule that says you must do the same thing as your travel mate every single day of your trip. So go to the museum while they zipline, then do the city walking tour together later. It’s all about clear expectations, communication, and compromise.
- Lodging — Cost, amenities, and location are always a factor, but don’t forget to consider the type and style of lodging as well. Not everyone values the features of a luxury all-inclusive. Just like not everyone appreciates the charm of a boutique family-owned hotel.
- Meals — Dining is another area that doesn’t seem like it would be an issue. Until it is. Some people love to go all out on vacation, with dinners at Michelin-starred restaurants and other fine dining options. Others love the relaxed vibe of a pub, walking through a market for street food, or eating at a budget-friendly restaurant. Ask the question, and make sure you aren’t assuming your travel mate will adopt your style.
- Adaptability and flexibility — How well do you handle the inevitable hiccups that come with travel? What about your travel mate? Flight and transportation delays happen. It’s beyond our control. Opening hours for shops, restaurants, and other businesses may change seasonally and not get updated on their websites or social media pages. Are you able to adapt and roll with the changes as just part of the travel experience? Is your travel mate?
- Budget and spending — How much do you want to spend each night on lodging? Each day on activities? Is public transportation acceptable or do you need to take an Uber, cab, or private transfer to be comfortable? Are you willing to max out your credit card so you can do the luxury fine dining experience and the spa day? What about for the once-in-a-lifetime activity that’s been on your bucket list for years? Be honest with yourself, and your travel mate, about your budget and spending limits.
- Pace — Some travelers want to fill their days getting their steps in and seeing everything they can because who knows when they’ll be back. Others like to relax, slow down, and maybe see a few places but otherwise simply enjoy their vacation. Some want to move from city to city every couple of days. Others prefer to stay in one place, treating their hotel like a vacation homebase. What do you prefer? What about your travel mate?
Ultimately, the key to a great trip with anyone is to be open. Talk about your preferences, be honest about what’s important to you, and roll with the changes. Relationships come and go, but a friend you can travel with is for life.
Originally published 7/19/2023